Guilt

Guilt

Posted: October 17, 2008
Title: Guilt
Author: Phytha
Fandom: Tolkien
Genre: FCS
Characters: Erestor/Glorfindel
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Tolkien owns them; I just use them for my naughty dreams.
Warning: ANGST!, BDSM, violence
Beta: ehm, Thesaurus, online dictionary, proofread?
Author's Notes: I tried hard to cover most points of your request(sorry, but really wasn't able to fit in the humor part), I'm really bad at fluff and if I'd have included kinslaying, it would have turned out too dark to be readable (indeed it's already quite dark as it is). As for the optional things, I don't do mpreg and concerning kidney stones, I had a kidney colic once and never ever want to be reminded of this pain (just to say, it cured me of my phobia of dentists *GG*). Hope you still enjoy the outcome of my efforts.

Summary: A sudden thunderstorm almost leads to disaster.

*****

With a fond smile Glorfindel took in the gorgeous sight enfolding in front of his eyes. The raven-haired advisor, bound to a pole with bands of shining black leather, his hair held together in a thick braid reaching almost down to his buttocks, a light sheen of sweat covering his back, already taut with anticipation. Lovingly the warrior let his hands glide over the shimmering skin down to the enticing swell of the two globes, flexing in expectation of what was to come.

"Are you ready, love, ready for everything I have to give?" Hot breath ghosted over sensitive tips of pointed ears, making his lover gasp in sudden pleasure.

"Please do it!" Erestor turned his head to be able to glance at his golden lover. His tongue darted out to moisten suddenly dry lips and his voice trembled with the force of upwelling arousal. "Mark me love, give me something to remember when you leave for patrol come morning."

Like always Glorfindel was stunned by the trust and love shining in the hazel eyes. The way the stern and seemingly unapproachable scribe gave himself over to him without a second thought still made his heart swell with affection. It had been less than a year since the Golden Warrior had been sent back from the Halls of Waiting to serve the House of Elrond, but it seemed to him that he'd been bound to his lover for a lifetime. They had recognized one another as soul-mates the moment their eyes met in a first greeting and although it had taken them some time to come to terms with their newfound love both felt like they'd been together for an eternity. Still the Balrog-Slayer could not believe his luck. Not only had he got a second chance at living, he'd also been blessed with the unlimited love and trust of the most adorable elf he'd ever met.

Sighing the golden haired elf caught his lover's moist lips with his own, his tongue plundering the pliant mouth in a deep kiss, a kiss that was eagerly answered by a moaning Erestor.

"I love you so much!" Soft words whispered when swollen lips finally parted for much needed air. "I wouldn't know what I'd do without you. How I could stand the memories of my past without your caring love. And to let me take control over your body like this is more than I ever deserved. I promise to never fail your trust."

Still caressing the quivering muscles with one hand Glorfindel started to move his crop in soft strokes over the scribe's bare ass, warming the taut flesh up for heavier things to come. Groaning, the advisor moved into the barley noticeable stings, all his senses already pleading for more. Gradually the warrior increased the intensity of the blows in a steady rhythm, painting the pale globes in a most adorable shade of red. Erestor was floating in an ocean of bliss, waves of pleasurable pain rolling through his body. Pearls of precome started to form on his swollen member and he let himself fall into the comforting hold of the bonds, giving his body completely over to unrestricted lust.

Glorfindel moved his hand at a secure pace, creating a lovely pattern of welts on his lover's backside. Slowly he moved the strokes up towards the broad shoulders, carefully avoiding the tender place where the kidneys lay hidden. His mind reeled in the feeling of keeping control. It was up to him to keep his lover save, it was up to him not to inflict more pain than the mate of his soul could stand. Again he wondered at the amount of trust the raven-haired beauty was bestowing upon him. One single slip of control and he could well harm the advisor in earnest. Between the strokes he never ceased to glide his free hand over sweat slick skin, adoring the pattern of red he was creating and as always his heart felt like bursting from the deepness of the love he felt for his Erestor.

A blinding flash of lightning, immediately followed by an almost deafening clap of thunder, suddenly disturbed the almost meditative mood of soft panting and rhythmical blows. Every movement seemed to freeze in the sudden bout of blinding light.

The whole universe shattered round Glorfindel. Fire – fire coming from the sky! The roaring vortex of inescapable doom swallowed all of his being. The ragged scar marring his ribcage as eternal reminder of his one ultimate failure burned in scorching flames. Not again! Not again! The warrior's soul cried out in utter desperation. Again he relived the unyielding force of the balrog, again he heard his people cry out in agonizing horror, again he saw his beloved city burn to ashes, again he witnessed the fall of fair Gondolin. And again he fought with all of his willpower against the overwhelming fiend, against a force that he could never control, too strong even for a mighty warrior like him. Not again! This time he would not fail, this time he would not betray those who trusted him with their lives, this time he would fight the evil and stay victorious. This time he'd keep control where no control had ever been to keep. He would cleanse himself forever from all guilt he'd carried with him to the halls of Mandos and beyond.

Grunting with exertion Glorfindel brought his weapon down with unrestricted force. Cold-hot battle-rage welled up in his heart, overriding his whole being with dark red clouds of fury. Fiery circles danced in front of his eyes, spinning round and round in an ever-increasing swirl accompanied by the still escalating boom of fate pulsating through his whole body. Down and down and down the weapon crashed, smashing the enemy in an eruption of violent blows. Already the warrior could smell the blood of the beast floating freely from its wounds, he'd broken the fiery mailed skin of the balrog, this time there would be no failure, this time there would be no guilt, this time the battle would be his to win. Again his hand rose to deal out one more of the deadly blows…

A sudden sound made the world stop in mid-stroke. A word coming out of nowhere, a word so full of promise and hope, a word of love and trust, a word of peace so powerful that it was able to quell the most fierce battle-rage.

"Lorien!"

With a sob Glorfindel lowered his suddenly nerveless arm, his eyes blinked seemingly for the first time in aeons and with excruciating horror he became aware of the atrocious scene in front of him. There was Erestor, his back covered in blood, blood still running from the wounds he, Glorfindel had inflicted upon him. Erestor, his Erestor, the love of his live, bloodied and hurt by the frenzied madness of the one who was bound to keep him save. Blind with tears the Balrog-Slayer fell to his knees. He'd failed, failed again, failed the one who had gifted him with his outmost trust. That was what happened whenever he lost control. Never again, he swore to himself, controlling his tears of horror and unbinding his lover with shaking hands.

Erestor was too far gone to notice anything besides utter bliss. He was flying the high of endorphins, aware of nothing than the pleasurable feeling of steady hits intermingled with soft caresses. Moaning with need he moved into the heavenly sensations. His body was hanging completely relaxed in the supporting bonds, the head rolling from side to side with every loving smack. He was completely unaware of the flashing lightning, didn't hear the rumbling roll of thunder and only with time was able to recognize that something was direly amiss. Pain suddenly flashed through his body. Not the welcomed sting of loving slaps, only bound to bring pleasure, but pain, inflicted to cause injure, to hurt, to damage body and soul. Forced out of his haze he heard his lover grunt in the effort of destruction, inflicting blow after agonizing blow on his tender skin. Already the advisor could feel blood running down his back where the crop had cut deep into his flesh. Pulling together all shreds of will, still left to him, Erestor forced his cry of pain into syllables, into the one word that could have the power to bring his lover back to his senses.

"Lorien!"

Nothing, no more bouts, no more pain, no more anything. For a short moment the world seemed to have come to a halt. Then a thud, a suppressed sob and the faint roll of thunder. Then again nothing. Shaking hands releasing the bonds, turning him around. A golden head lowered in utter misery, not daring to raise his eyes, to look at what he'd done.

"I failed you!" the voice of the proud warrior was barely recognizable. "You trusted me and I failed you. I'm not worthy of your love or even your friendship. Just let me dress the wounds I inflicted upon you, and then I'll get out of your life. You don't have to forgive me, for I'll never forgive myself."

"No. love, don't talk like this!" Pain and increasing dread at his lover's declaration slurred Erestor's words. "You didn't fail me, you never failed me! You stopped when I saveworded. You kept me save! Now I really know that I can trust you, whatever happens. Please listen to me, baby, you're worthy of all the love and trust I have to give. Don't you see what happened? You stopped! You always kept me save. What happened, happened, but you never failed me!"

"No, love, I lost control, I hurt you, could have well killed you in my frenzy. Don't try to find excuses, don't try to diminish my horrible dead. I lost myself, lost control, when I have sworn to keep it. What if it happens again, what if next time I don't stop. I'm a danger to all those who I love."

With still shaking hands Glorfindel cleaned his lover's wounds, dressing them with clean linen, never daring to touch the unmarred parts of skin although every fiber of his being longed to soothingly caress his hurt mate. He had inflicted every single wound, now he had lost the right to give comfort. Lost it forever. He'd live his life in lonely solitude, never letting someone close to his heart again, never again endangering his beloved with his presence. That would be the price he'd pay, the price for being unable to control himself. Ignoring his lover's urgent pleas he got to his feet as soon as he'd finished his task and headed for the door.

"Please no, don't go like this" Erestor's cry of despair finally managed to penetrate the guilty haze. "don't leave me alone. Please talk to me! We have to talk for both our sake! Don't go, please don't do this to us!"

The pleading hazel eyes softened Glorfindel's resolve and turning round, still standing in the door, he made his whispered promise.

"We'll talk, as soon as I'm back, we'll talk. Can't … can't talk now. Too fresh, have to think. But we'll talk when I'm back."

Then Erestor was alone, lost in an agony of pain and loneliness and for the first time in his long life, he cried himself into a fitful sleep. When he woke up Glorfindel had left for patrol. He wouldn't be back for a whole week, leaving his lover almost crazy with worry about his wellbeing.

Being on patrol had always lightened the Golden Warrior's mood. Controlling the borders, keeping his lord's realm save, that was his sole duty, that was what he lived for. But this time, this time everything was different. Out of sheer stubborn habit Glorfindel clung to his duty, watching out for enemies, keeping control, control over the safety of the borders, control over his own miserable self. All the while the images of his failure never ceased to terrorize his soul again and again. The images of Erestor wounded and bleeding, the images of the fall of beloved Gondolin, the fiery whip of the unbeatable balrog, turning everything into fire, ashes and death, intermingled in his consciousness to a maddening kaleidoscope of doom. The ugly snake of guilt again raised its nasty head, winding its slimy body round the warrior's heart in an ever-constricting grip. Nothing of this would have happened if he had been able to keep control. Control over the enemy and control over his own twisted self. Thus were the warrior's thoughts when on the last day of patrol the party was ambushed by raiders.

Yelling, the bunch of ragged mortals stormed out of the bushes, wielding their weapons at the unsuspecting elves. As one man the warriors dragged their swords fighting the attackers with ease. Swinging his blade Glorfindel felt the red haze of battle-wrath clouding his senses. With horror he felt his control slipping away, giving place to all consuming rage. Not again!

Paralyzed with shock the warrior was not able to move a single limb. Through the red haze he noticed the grimy point of an attacker's spear dart towards his throat. Still unable to move all he could do was to await his certain death, as at the last moment he was saved by his second's sword. Blinking his eyes, still rooted to the spot, sword swung high in the empty air, he noticed all the scoundrels either dead or gone. It hadn't even been a real battle, only a marginal distraction. Feeling all his strength sip out of his body the Balrog-Slayer slumped helplessly to the ground. Worried the soldiers helped their traumatized captain to his horse and led him to the safety of Lord Elrond's halls

Erestor lived through a week of hell. It wasn't because of his injuries, the wounds hadn't been as deep as it had seemed and had healed quite well within some days, it wasn't because he thought that his lover had failed him, on the contrary, Glorfindel had stopped even in the midst of rage, a rage that had been caused by a sudden thunderstorm, as the advisor had learned, a thunderstorm, triggering the worst memories of the warriors former life. And even then, unaware of his surroundings, lost in the throes of his former death, Glorfindel had instinctively reacted when hearing Erestor's saveword, had stopped in mid-stroke, had kept his lover save. What better proof of safety was there to be had? Of course the scribe had had to come to terms with everything that had happened and he direly missed the possibility of talking it through with his lover, but that wasn't what disturbed him most. What haunted his every waking hour, even creeping into his uneasy dreams, was the expression in his lover's eyes when the door had closed behind him. The expression of a deadly wounded animal, retreating to find its final shelter, the expression of utter self-hatred and guilt made Erestor deeply worried for his warrior's physical and mental wellbeing. Knowing quite well what trust and control meant to his lover, just the imagination of the state of mind the Golden Warrior would have to suffer tore his heart to agonizing peaces. He clung to Glorfindel's promise to talk after his return and counted the hours for the patrol to come home safely.

The advisor knew that something was amiss as soon as he heard the commotion outside the window of the library. Those weren't the gleeful voices of homecoming warriors, greeting their family and friends, there were anxious shouts and the shuffle of hurried feet. His heart constricted with dread he hurried into the courtyard, stopping dead in his tracks as he noticed the unmoving golden body slumped over his horse. His horse whose reins were led by another soldier. Already Lord Elrond had stormed out to take care of the commander of his guard, guiding him towards the healing rooms as if he'd pilot someone walking in his sleep. For a short moment Erestor was able to see the emptiness in his lover's azure eyes, then the doors of the halls of healing closed after the healer and his patient. Sobbing the scribe sunk to the floor, uncaring of whoever might see him.

Restlessly Erestor paced in front of the closed doors. It seemed like an eternity since Glorfindel had come home, shattered and broken, and Lord Elrond had taken it upon himself to take care of him. The sudden noise of an opening door startled the scribe out of his painful reverie. A haggard looking Elrond stood in front of him, his face pale with exhaustion but an almost invisible smile of relief in his worried eyes.

"He is stable now." The healer's voice sounded hoarse with tiredness. "I managed to bring him back. Although he still refuses to speak to me. I gave him something to make him sleep and I'm sure he'll feel much better come morning. One of my healers will wake at his side, so he'll be save. But now I have to talk with you, would you please come with me to my quarters. The warriors told me what happened and they also mentioned that he has been acting slightly strange since they set out for patrol. As have you, as I couldn't fail to notice." The tired voice took on a more severe tenor. "What happened between the two of you? I wouldn't have pushed you into telling me something you weren't willing to, but now I have to insist to know all of it. For his sake, for the sake of both of you, you have to tell me everything."

Seated in the Lord's comfortable rooms Erestor finally was able to relieve his heart of everything that happened. Not once did Elrond interrupt his talk, only when the advisor mentioned the thunderstorm and Glorfindel's reaction to it he thoughtfully nodded his head.

"I fear something like this had to be suspected. I always wondered how easily Glorfindel settled into his new life with all the memories of his former existence intact. I don't know why the Valar decides to restore him with all the knowledge of the horrible events, but who am I to question the decisions of the Valar. I knew his traumas would some day resurface, I only hoped it wouldn't be this bad. It's my fault not to have spoken with you about this."

"Did I do something wrong?" Erestor was desperate it could have been his doing that caused his beloved's current state. "Has it been my fault, my unknowing carelessness that made his traumatic memories surface?"

"It's nothing of your doing." Elrond quickly reassured his worried friend. "It was bound to happen anyway; otherwise the damage in his subconsciousness would have eaten his soul bit by bit. He feels guilty for not having been able to save Gondolin, feels guilty for not being able to control fate itself, and what happened with you made his guilt recur and that's what is immobilizing him."

"Guilty for not being able to control fate – oh Glorfindel!" A ragged sob escaped Erestor's throat as he hid his face beneath his palms. "How can I help him, Elrond? I wanted to talk to him, tell him that what happened wasn't his fault, but he refused. How can I help him, if he isn't willing to listen to me?"

"I fear, that's nothing that can be solved with words, my friend." Elrond's breast heaved with a heavy sigh. "The trauma is running too deep for words. He has to experience for himself that there is no guilt in not being able to control something which is beyond every control. He has to experience that there is no failure in yielding when fighting is no option. You of all people can help him with this, but it would demand very much of you."

"Tell me what to do, I'm willing to do everything, I love him so much!" Eyes wide with apprehensibility Erestor listened to Elrond's explanations, his whole body shaking as he finally nodded his consent. "I can do this. I won't tell that I'm not frightened to death, but I can do this. I of all know how good it can feel to give up control, to give oneself over to the care of another. I know he'll fight me, but I love him so much, I'm willing and able to cope with all his anger and struggle. It's just that I never have been on this end of the line, it will take much to get accustomed to this. But just tell me how we'll get him to agree, if he isn't even willing to look at me?"

Elrond just curled his lips in a faint smile: "Leave this to me, I have an idea how to deal with this. Just be ready for your part."

At the first timid knock Erestor rushed to the door of his room. He was barely able to recognize his lover. Gaunt face, pale like a ghost, deep dark shadows under bloodshot azure eyes, golden hair dull and disheveled, Glorfindel looked like a mere shadow of his formerly sparkling self. Waving his hand in an uncertain motion he stood in the doorframe, not daring to enter.

"Lord Elrond said it would be my duty..."

"I'm so glad you came, love!" Quickly the advisor hushed his lover into his chamber, urging him to take a seat beside the fireplace. "I have missed you so much."

"Lord Elrond told me, I'd have to speak with you." Still the Golden Warrior was unable to look into his mate's eyes. "I ... I just want to say, that I'm sorry ... so sorry ...I don't know how to explain ... I don't know how it could happen ... it's only that I'm so very, very sorry."

"There's nothing to explain, it's been an accident." Erestor steeled his mind for the all-important question. "Glorfindel, love, just tell me one thing. Do you trust me?"

"Why do you ask?" Nervous fingers fidgeted with the hem of the warrior's tunic. "I failed your trust, I'm not worthy ..."

"That's not the question!" Erestor interrupted his lover's self-loathing musings. "Look at me, love! First of all, please realize that you never failed my trust, you ever kept me safe, no matter what happened, you reacted to my saveword, no matter how much you've been lost in your past. But this is not the question I've asked. The question is not if I trust you, what I do with every fiber of my heart. The question is if YOU trust ME."

"Why?" Blurry eyes raised searchingly to the beloved face. "Of course I trust you, I just don't know if I still trust myself."

"Then show me!" Reaching out his hand Erestor guided his lover toward the bed. "Show me how much you trust me and give yourself over to me."

"I can do it." Desperately trying to control his uprising panic Glorfindel let himself be spread out on the soft covers. "If you need this as retribution, I can do it." He flinched with anxiety, sweat forming on his forehead, as thick leather bounds were fastened around his ankles and wrists. "I can do it." Repeating the words he tried to calm himself. "I understand that you need this after all that happened ..."

"That's not about what I need!" Erestor almost shouted in anger. "It's all about you! I want you to give yourself over to me. You're still reigning yourself in. Still keep control of your fear and anger. I want you to give the reigns over to me." Reaching for the crop placed at the bedside he let it come down in a hard blow on the mattress. "Give me your fear! Give me your anger! Let me see you fight against your bonds" Every sentence was enhanced with a thudding blow next to the wincing body.

All consuming waves of fear surged through Glorfindel's being. Frantically he strained his muscles to free himself from the unyielding bonds. The steady thuds besides his body drummed like thunder in his ears. The whip, the fiery whip, it came for him, inescapably, determined to drag him into his peril. Sweat covered the warrior's body as his muscles bulged to free himself, thrashing his body around to escape his unavoidable fate. But to no avail, the bonds held him in place, making it impossible for him to escape. Fiery wheels were dancing in front of his eyes as he continued his futile struggle. He grunted in effort, flailing his head from side to side, every muscle standing out strained almost to the brink of tearing but still the bonds proofed stronger. There was no escape, even with all his strength and power, there was no escape. Beaten and exhausted he sagged down with a sob, finally accepting his fate.

Torn between anxiety and arousing appreciation Erestor watched his lover's fight with a strange sense of rapture. At one hand he was afraid for the warrior's safety, but on the other side the sight of the gorgeous golden frame fighting against the bonds holding him down was arousing in a way he'd never have anticipated. The bulging muscles straining against black leather, big stains of sweat sipping through the fabric of the tunic, the thrashing head, suddenly the scribe longed to feel his beloved squirm under him for other reasons, a picture that had never occurred before as he'd always been happy to be on the receiving end. But now he felt the sudden urge to dominate his lover completely, to make him shiver under his ministrations, a helpless victim of the pleasures he knew so well. Love swelled in his breast, love greater than he ever had thought possible. When Glorfindel finally stopped to struggle, his body going limp with a sob he was brought back from his reverie.

"Look at me, love!" he demanded, "Speak to me, let me hear how you're feeling."

"Defeated." Worried blue eyes hesitantly met his own. "Couldn't fight it. Too strong. I failed, again."

"Where did you fail?" The stern voice penetrated Glorfindel's miserable exhaustion. "Was it your failure that those bonds, made from the hide of a boar proofed to be too strong for you to break? Are you responsible for the thickness of a boar's hide?"

"Of course I'm not!" A sudden bout of anger enhanced the strength of the Golden Warrior. "Of course I'm not responsible for the thickness of a boar's hide. How can you say something like this?"

"Then, tell me," choosing his words with care the scribe knelt down beside his mate. "Then tell me, where exactly have you failed? Where have you failed when there was never a possibility to succeed?"

"I gave my best but it hasn't been enough. I couldn't free myself." Suddenly realization hit the Balrog-Slayer. Memories of his past life floated through his mind, memories of giving his best in face of an invincible fiend. "I did my best, I even gave my life, but the hide proofed to be too thick. I never had a chance." Sobbing he turned his head, facing away from his lover, not wanting the scribe to see his tears.

"No one stands a chance against fate, no one can stand up against the decision of the Valar." Remembering the words Lord Elrond had told him Erestor gently turned his lover's face towards him. "But today you have been standing up against your own demons. You've been facing your demons, fighting them and won a battle only the bravest had a chance to win. I'm so proud of you, my brave warrior." With breaking voice the scribe reached out to touch his lover's tear- stained cheek. "I'm so proud of you, so proud to be yours."

"Could you please hold me?" Lost in his own emotions Erestor barely heard his lover's request. Sobbing he undid the bonds and took the mate of his soul into his arms, soothing the quivering body with soft caresses. Their mingled tears, finally floating unhindered by any restrain washed away every shred of anguish and dread, leaving them cleansed of all former grief. Glorfindel clung to his lover, finally allowing himself to give in to so much needed comfort.

"Hold on to me, love." Erestor murmured with shaky voice. "Hold on to me, I've got you, you're safe now, I'll keep you safe, I'll never let you go."

With time their tears came to an end and their touches took on a more determined manner. Soft kisses heated up in passion and their bodies started to move together in the eternal dance of love. Moaning the lovers' mouths devoured one another as their hands worked frantically to get rid of the hindering clothes, eager to touch every single patch of bared skin. With a groan Glorfindel pulled his mate on top of him, grinding their groins together, engorged shaft rubbing against engorged shaft.

"Need to feel you inside of me," he whispered in his lover's ear, "need you to make love to me, to make me whole."

Erestor's breath caught in his throat. Never had he hoped to hear this request from his lover. As far as he knew the Golden Warrior never had given himself to anyone, not in the span of two lives. All his senses reeling with delight he looked deep into his beloved's eyes.

"Do you really mean this? Is this really what you want?"

"I want to have this with you." With shining eyes the warrior nodded his agreement. "Just go slow, I've never done this before, but I need you now, need you to be my first and only."

Taking his lover's mouth in a deep kiss Erestor let his tongue explore every secret part of the moist cavern, delighted by the way the proud warrior let him control their kiss. Coaxing his lover's tongue to dance the eternal dance with his own they were soon moaning with need, their groins moving together in increasing urgency. Never breaking the kiss Erestor reached for the pot filled with fragrant salve, coating his fingers with it ,bringing them down between his lover's legs.

"Open your legs for me, love, let me worship you, like you deserve it." The scribe's voice was hoarse with arousal as he kneeled between the invitingly spread tights

Groaning the Golden Warrior complied. He shivered with delight when slick digits glided through the crack between his legs, ghosting only slightly over his entrance to get it used to the unaccustomed caress. Still he winced involuntary when one nimble digit pressed more firmly against his puckered opening for the first time in his life.

"Relax love, I won't do anything now." Erestor was barely able to speak. "We'll take our time. Just let me loosen you up a bit, relax and feel how good it is."

Glorfindel's groan was answered by another passionate kiss. Keeping his steady massage of the taut muscle, Erestor listened in rapt delight to the deepening moans of pleasure emitted by his lover. Only when he felt the untrained opening flex invitingly under his ministrations he slowly increased the pressure of his intruding digit. Slowly the tight opening loosened enough to swallow the cup of his finger in its hot constriction. The raven-haired elf couldn't resist to look down at what he was doing and the sight was almost enough to drive him over the edge.

"Ah Valar, love if you could see yourself! You look so amazing with my finger slowly invading your body. Valar, I can't resist any longer! ... I just have to...!"

With a husky groan he attached his mouth to his lover's most intimate part, letting his tongue dance around his invading digit. The musky flavor made his senses reel with utter bliss and removing his finger only to gain better access with his mouth he started to lick his mate's entrance in earnest, running a nimble tongue round the already heavily pulsating muscle, time and again delving the tip as deep as possible into the loosening entrance.

Moving his head from side to side Glorfindel allowed himself to be carried away by waves of rapture. Never had he thought that just these slight caresses on his most secret opening could cause such utter bliss. He gasped in stunned surprise as he felt a soft invasion of his body. It felt better than anything he had ever experienced. Only half aware he heard his lover's murmured words, but he couldn't care less as new waves of pleasure surged through his awareness. But what happened next made his body arch up in ecstasy and he cried out his rapture in a keening wail. Unable to control the movements of his hips he dug his fingers into the blankets to ground himself, mouth opened for groaning heaves of breath.

"Ai, Valar! ... too good ... can't take it any longer ... to good ... going to come ... please ... VALAR, YES ... need ... need you in me ... ah yes ... let me feel you ... make me yours"

Withdrawing his mouth at the needful pleas of his lover Erestor returned to his task of stretching the virginal opening with his finger. Without meeting any resistance his digit was almost sucked into the eager channel. Groaning with need to feel the hot constriction around his throbbing member the scribe added a second finger, soon followed by a third. Glorfindel was too far gone, riding the waves of outmost bliss to notice any discomfort when his opening was stretched wide to accommodate to the intrusion of even greater girth. Only when the searching digits touched something hidden deep inside his channel his body arched up, howling in the throes of unimaginable bliss.

"Now! ... Now! ... Do it!... Don't let me wait! ... Can't wait any longer! ... Please! ... Please! ... Oh Valar, please!"

Hearing his lover begging shamelessly Erestor was unable to hold back any longer. Withdrawing his fingers he quickly replaced them with the slick tip of his rod.

"Easy now, love, this might hurt a bit." Slowly pushing into the velvety heat he watched out for any sign of discomfort in his lovers face. "Relax for me. Let me in. Easy now, I'm almost there. ... Ah Valar, you feel so good around me!"

Steadily sinking to the hilt into his golden lover's thigh heat Erestor had to bite his lips, almost drawing blood, to keep himself from coming on the spot. He knew he wouldn't last long and eager to bring his mate with him over the edge he closed his hand round the precome weeping rod of steel.

"I'm not going to last, love," he panted, collecting the last shreds of resolve, "you feel too good, ... too hot, ... too tight. ... Let me take you with me ... come with me!"

Almost beyond speech, completely lost in the realm of passion, the Golden Warrior arched up into his lover's touch already feeling the tremor of impending release.

"Valar, yes ... then fill me ... so good ... going to come ... ah Valar, ... now!"

Feeling his lover tightening around him Erestor let go with a hoarse cry, following his mate into the throes of passion. Convulsing in a mind-blowing climax the lovers spiraled higher and higher to an unimaginable peak of lust.

Still moaning under the onslaught of never ceasing aftershocks of delight, still united in their bodies the two elves curled around one another, slowly trying to regain their breath. Shining hazel eyes locked their gaze with bright azure orbs.

"I'm so happy to have you back in my life, to have your love back. Pleas promise me that there will be nothing to drive us apart again. I love you so much."

"You helped me to battle my demons." Smiling the Balrog-Slayer cupped his beloved advisor's face in his hand. "Demons I haven't even known where hunting me. Nothing will ever again drive us apart, you're my soulmate, Bound to me for eternity. Still there is one thing I'd like to do. Forgive me that I won't go down on my knees, I've has some exhausting experience lately." Smiling Glorfindel looked at his lover, but then his voice grew all serious. "Erestor, love of my life, will you marry me? Will you allow me to make our bond official, will you be mine for everyone to see?"

Blinking away tears of joy Erestor only managed to answer, his voice shaking with emotion:

"Yes. I will!"

*****

THE END

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