Posted: October 2004
Title: Viggo Sucks!
Author: Helena Snow-Renn

*****

I.

The thing Viggo had planned would best take place at his own house. He didn't want to think about the possibility of being thrown out in mid-whatever. Best if the disenchanted party have to do the leaving, if it came to that.

Liv also saw the sense of his choice of venue. Once her part was over, she could slip out quietly with her memories and her two new notches and go home to a very pleasant sleep. When Viggo approached her in all seriousness and respectfulness, she had had one shocked breathless instant, and then had literally squealed in delight.

"You? And him? And me? Her voice got higher and higher. "Oh, oh-my-god, oh shit!" Her eyes were watering; her hands fluttered in front of her like she was about to pass out. "Jesus, Viggo, I haven't done that in years." His eyebrow went up. "Don't ask. But… oh, yeah. Definitely yes. So, when do you plan to…?

"Two nights from now, say?"

"Time?"

"Come over around eleven. Sean, I'll ask to show up ‘round midnight."

"Why later?" Liv queried, unable to stand still. The woman bounced as much as Elijah or Dom when she was excited.

Viggo grinned at her lecherously for the first time ever. "It'll give us time to heat the pan."

Liv's wide-open eyes' irises swirled with changing blues. She bit her full lower lip. "The idea makes me so goddamn hot…" they both snickered, almost in agreement. Viggo had been right to read her more recent rounds pressing herself against him as more that just acting. He'd never purposefully touched her tits, but already was on familiar terms with their weight and texture.

Then she said, "I need you to spell this out, Viggo. I hate to have to admit it, but I can be pretty clueless, and being horny just makes it worse."

"Are you a blond under there?" Viggo asked playfully.

"You're a blond, and so is Sean," she countered. "But I suppose between the three of us, we won't freak ourselves out over this."

Viggo could have sighed in relief. She was telling him she had no intension of turning this into more than a one-time thing.

"So," Liv continued. "Why now, why me, why like this, and what exactly do you want me to do?"

Viggo gathered his thoughts for a moment while Liv gazed at him levelly. Amazing, how she could go from bubbly to totally still in just a minute. "Um, Ok…It's only right to tell you what you're getting in the middle of. Just keep it to yourself okay?" She nodded. "Right. Well. Sean is straight, or he thinks he is. I want him, simple as that." Then he did sigh. "Or not. We've been fooling around some, but he refuses to go any farther without a female present, I think just to reassure himself he's not ‘turned.'"

"And you're alright with that?" Liv questioned, her eyebrows coming together.

"I happen to be bi, which comes in useful in this case, doesn't it? So, I want you there because of Sean, yes, and also, I want him to watch you and me together. Maybe then he'll be able to see it's alright and possible to be both. There is one more thing…You have the ability to take us both at once, if you know what I mean."

Liv's eyes couldn't have gotten any wider. "Oh! Yes!" she squeaked.

"… If you're so inclined, of course," Viggo amended. "That is what I'm really after, though."

"Why?" she wanted to know.

"He'll be able to feel me, even while he's in you."

"You sound like you know what you're talking about…"

"Well, no, not in the practical sense," Viggo admitted. "But I have a good imagination."

Liv pushed a strand of hair away from her face with shaking fingers. "God, Viggo. I'm gonna come down my leg from just talking about it. Stop!"

"You asked."

"Wait a minute," Liv's expression revealed she'd just thought of something else. Viggo gave her a look that told her to say her piece.

"Do I get a go at him, too?"

"'A go?'" Viggo repeated. "You sound like a Brit, Liv. Yeah, sure you can. Before the grand finale of sorts that I mentioned."

She nodded. "Do you even need to ask what my answer is?"

Viggo shook his head.

"Good." She stood there, looking at him. And then she swooped, that was the only word for it, into his arms, and he had to put them around her; it was instinct. Liv's face presented itself in his before she basically attacked him, her lips reaching, licking, her tongue slick and honey-tasting. She reached up and wound her hands into his hair, holding his head motionless while she pillaged his surprised mouth. He let her. Damn, she was good, too. He was glad he wasn't too fussy about gender, so he could really enjoy it. In fact, it took away his last worry for his whole little set-up, that they'd get there and there'd be no fire. How wrong he'd been.

After a couple minutes' indulgence, Viggo disengaged his mouth and stepped slightly away. Liv panted like she'd been running.

"Fuck! How the hell am I supposed to hold it together now?" she asked him, wiping the starry-eyed moisture running down her cheeks away with her fingertips.

"You'll live…Liv."

She snorted. "No shit, Sherlock. I can handle myself, Viggo."

"I trust so. And there's your answer to ‘why you.'" Her quizzical look turned knowing.

Viggo smiled, kissed Liv's flushed lips once more, and loped off, leaving a very randy Elf princess to deal with her flustered emotions.

II.

When he got home the next night, Viggo made the effort and cleaned the main clutter from his house; he even put fresh sheets on the bed. Sean had been duly informed. He had been so non-committal that anyone but Viggo would've taken his response as a ‘no.' But for one who was extremely literate in reading body language, particularly Sean's, there had been no mistaking the poorly-hidden eager spark in his decidedly shifty green eyes. Viggo replayed the whole little incident in his mind, a little smile curving his lips.

The blond Brit had stood for a while, silent as he transferred his weight from foot to foot, hands searching first for the pockets that didn't exist in Middle Earth in the late Third Age, and then for a cigarette pack he always had hidden somewhere under his various layers. Finding one, he offered it to Viggo, then lit his own and dragged so hard, it was nearly half-gone in seconds.

"Tomorrow, eh? I dunno. This schedule is killing me." He made his voice bored and indifferent. "Had it in me mind to tip back a few and then get some long sleep."

"Whatever." Viggo rolled this off his tongue as if he could care less. He looked anywhere else but Sean. It was just like fishing, he reckoned. Pretend you weren't even there. Or that the obvious didn't exist. That's right. Just a couple of blokes having a smoke.

"Your place, then, you said?" Sean said after a while, stubbing out his filter under a boot heel.

"Uh, huh. Well, show up if you want. Leave whenever you want." Viggo made a show of being about to go.

"Right." Sean lit another smoke and dragged. "Who'd you line up?" He could've been asking Viggo what brand of slug killer he favored for his garden.

"Ms. Tyler herself."

Sean choked. "Fuck me!"

Viggo turned and leered at him.

"You're such a poufer, for all your macho ranger act," Sean blurted, as if he had the final word on the matter.

"I doubt you'll be saying that after we've had Liv between us," Viggo informed him. "Midnight. Be there. If it's sleep you need, well, then, wait till I get done with you. I guarantee I'm a human knock-out drug." He felt like an idiot, saying that, but one must keep upping the ante with this man, even verbally.

Sean narrowed his eyes at him. "Got it bad, don'tcha?" he drawled.

"No worse than you." Viggo had to fight back a laugh. The great pretender, that one. "You know you want my cock."

"Like hell! Keep it to yourself, you may find yourself without it."

Viggo went on as if Sean hadn't spoken. He slowly advanced, one step at a time. "First, I'm gonna fuck Liv just like a nice, straight man. Missionary and everything, while you watch. She wants you next, she said." Sean turned bright red. "Yeah, she can't wait to mount you like a carousel pony. She gets really energetic when she's wound up, Sean. You won't even have to do anything." By now, he was less that a foot away; Sean backed up. "And then, when she's done with you, she wants us both." Now the other man's back was against the nearest wall. "So, which do you prefer, Sean… Front or back?"

"Are you bloody serious? She'd never…"

"Oh, yes, she would. I made sure of that. See what lengths I go to?" Clearly Sean did, though he was loath to admit it. He cleared his throat and looked away.

"You big dummy," Viggo said under his breath. Those green eyes glared poison at him, and something else. "Liv knows not to get caught up," he said, now that he could stare the Brit down. "You and I are already involved, whether you like it or not. If this will ease the way, if it will help, then I'll fucking do it. I'll watch you fuck her cunt till you both scream, and I'll do the same, if that's what you need. When it's over, you get me. Just me. Just like I said last time."

Sean protested, "Do you think that somehow you can change my nature?" He circled around Viggo and shoved him against the bricks. "You're so goddamn special I'm gonna turn pouf and let yeh fuck me up the arse? Yeah, that's all it is to you, innit? You go on about needs and involvement and whatever the fuck, I know all that shite. You're just after me sex."

Just like before, Sean leaned back long enough to get his forearm crossways on Viggo's neck. This time he reached down with the other hand and cupped Viggo's genitals. Naturally, this made the American instantly hard. Sean unconsciously began a slow up-and-down stroke of his shaft through his clothes. Disbelieving what was going on, Viggo didn't move. Sean went on, "Don't forget I've been around as long as you have. I know bullshit when I see it. You're gonna say you love me, aren't yeh?" Viggo blanched. "Well, just fucking don't. ‘Cause I don't love you."

With that last, he gave Viggo another shove, even though it didn't move him any further. Suddenly aware of his actions, Sean yanked his hands back like they'd been in a fire. He turned his head to the side and spat. There was just enough of a break from that quiet anger for Viggo to work up to the next fabrication.

"Well, the egoist speaks." He let his voice drip with sarcasm, and deliberately gave a short, barking laugh. "Love…yeah right. That's pretty damn funny, coming from you." Dangerous ground, that.

Sean turned his back. "What's that supposed to mean?" he growled.

"You were the one who brought it up. You tell me."

"Well, it has fuck-all to do with you, that's one thing sure."

‘Deny, deny deny,' Viggo intoned inside his head. He'd heard enough. "Yeah, whatever. I want to forget I even had such a conversation with you, alright? Just fucking show up. And then we'll see what it is. You know, if we can't get over this fucking lying, then I'm done. Liv is going to have a little slip-and-fall on her own juices…" Well, at least that made Sean laugh, a little, "… and if you don't provide for her most erotic wishes, she'll never speak to either one of us again." Now it was all male bravado. "I'm telling you, man, she's absolutely gagging for it."

"Likewise," Sean said in a low voice, pulling out another smoke.

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" Viggo was getting déjà vu. He shook his head. "Tomorrow. Midnight." And he made himself scarce.

*****

previous | Chapter Index | next

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to: Helena Snow-Renn