Change Hurts

Change Hurts

Posted: August 28, 2009
Title: Change Hurts
Author: Amber
Fandom: Tolkien
Genre: FCGen
Characters: Elrond, Maedhros
Rating: G
Disclaimer: All characters owned by JRR Tolkien. I am just borrowing them for now.
Beta: Oli

Summary: Elrond feels change coming.

*****

'Change is coming and I am afraid,' Elrond thought to himself as he heard the news confirmed that the Valar had indeed sent a host unto the lands to help defeat the evil of Morgoth. It was a host that was led by a Maia. A messenger had arrived from King Gil-Galad while he had been on watch. He had just come in from outside when he overheard the discussion in his foster-father's library. He had not meant to stop and listen but the mention of Aman had caught his attention. It was a subject rarely talked about in this house and he had wanted to hear more.

There had been rumors of help coming from the West but until now none had been confirmed. His foster parents had refused to discuss these rumors with Elrond and his brother, but now he had overheard the truth. He was afraid of what that meant for his brother and himself. He had no fear that the Fëanorians would harm them; there was too much love that had grown up between them over the years. He did not believe, like his brother did, that Maedhros would demand a Silmaril in exchange for their protection. The time for that had long past, but he found he was still afraid.

He had felt the coming of power in the preceding weeks. It had announced itself by making his blood burn deep within him, and tormenting him. His brother had felt his pain through their bond but did not understand its source. Elros himself had felt nothing but a wary unease of late. He refused to believe Elrond when he tried to express his fears, but then his brother had never taken seriously any of Elrond's odds feelings and behaviors. He considered his twin too different to be taken seriously. Maglor just kept checking him for a fever when told, fearing he was coming down with one of the many illnesses that plagued humans.

Somehow Maedhros knew. Elrond had seen the older brother watching him as he trained and went about his daily chores. The one who had driven his mother to abandon him knew that there was something different about Elrond. Elrond had known he was different for as long as he could remember. He had learned to hide is oddness early when others had reacted to him by pulling away. He had thought that few knew of this oddness now, but he had to admit that at least two others realized the truth about him. He could trust his friend Erestor, a son of Maedhros's captain born in these lands, not to speak of his oddness. But Maedhros was another matter. What would he do?

As Elrond walked to his room his blood flared painfully as it began to burn once more. There were others near again. He did not understand why he reacted this way to their presence. Why did his blood burn constantly now? He was deeply afraid of running into one of them while on patrol. How would their nearness affect him? And what would be their reaction to him? He did not fear for his brother in this regard as he had long since realized that his brother was more human than he was even though they were twins. His brother did not carry his taint as he considered it.

It was Maedhros who picked him up off the floor when he collapsed and carried him to his room.

"You should rest," was all he said as he undressed him and pulled the covers up over him. Then he stared at him for a moment before he got up. That stare left Elrond very afraid. Elrond heard him whisper before he left the room. "You should not fear what you are."

Elrond watched in confusion as Maedhros closed the door. What did he mean that he should not fear what he was? He did not understand. He would have to question him further he thought as he drifted off to sleep.

Elrond rose the next morning to find the house in an uproar. Maglor pointed him into the dining room for breakfast when he stopped to ask what was going on. Elros just shook his head as he passed the eggs to let him know that he did not know what was going on either. Finally their foster-fathers joined them. The twins waited until their elders had eaten to ask what was going on.

"You will be taken to the coast today," Maedhros began but then he stopped.

"We have decided that the time has come to return you to your people," Maglor said quietly. "War is coming and you should be with them."

"But…" Elrond began to protest.

"No," Maedhros interrupted loudly to forestall anymore protest. "You are old enough, coming to your majorities, and it is past time. You will be safer there than here. The decision has already been made. You will leave in one hour."

"We are sending a patrol to escort you," Maglor continued in a gentler tone. "We are also sending all who have not reached their seventy-fifth year, and any ellith who do not wish to stay. It is better they be with you than with us in the coming war."

"The path will not be easy as there will be sections of Morgoth's troops around. You must not fight unless there is not a choice. Your job is to reach Gil-Galad's forces with everyone, not fight," Maedhros explained. "Go now and do anything you must to prepare. Elrond, come see me before you pack your horse. I have a missive I need you to carry to the King."

The twins were silent as they returned to their rooms and packed their most valued possessions. Elros came in and waited until Elrond was ready. He was excited to finally be leaving their home for he had never forgotten that the Fëanorians where their jailors and not just distant family. Elrond understood this but still blamed their parents for abandoning them. There had to of been another way. As he left his room for the last time, Elros took his bag and headed to the stables as he continued on to Maedhros's study.

He knocked once and entered when bid. Maedhros rose and closed the door as he directed Elrond to a seat. Elrond felt uncomfortable under the stare he was given but then gasped as his blood began to burn again. Maedhros just nodded his head as he watched the older twin.

"Your blood burns does it not?" he asked as he sat in the chair beside Elrond.

"Yes, but not too bad just now," Elrond answered trying to deflect the topic.

"It is your Maian blood burning in response to the nearness of another Maia," he explained. "It began shortly before the rumors reached us of the forces of Aman arriving did it not?"

"It has always burned a little, but been more intense recently," Elrond confirmed.

"I suspect that they can recognize another with the blood in them and that is what you are feeling," he tried to explain. "Elros barely feels it as his human blood dominates his fëa, but you are different. I have noticed your fear. I suspect it is only because you do not understand. I cannot answer the questions you must have; only another with the blood can. That is why I am sending you away."

"I can learn what I need to know here," Elrond began to protest.

"No you cannot," came the quiet answer. "I have enough measure of foresight left to know that you and your brother cannot stay with us in the coming war. Your place is not here but elsewhere. Heed my words young one. You must use this burning in you to help protect the group traveling to the coast. You must learn to turn this to your advantage. After that, you must find a way to meet with one of them and have them explain what it is you are experiencing, and possibly teach you."

"That is not the only reason you send us away," Elrond said as a flash of insight came to him.

"No it isn't," his foster-father answered quietly. "I do not know if you can understand but our oath holds us still. We will never be free of it. Only in our deaths will the blood it caused be washed from our hands. We have purposely shielded you from much but to keep you hear will only taint whatever future you may have. Promise me something, young one."

"What?" Elrond asked as tears streamed down his face.

"Make your own decisions based on what is best for you," came the surprising request. "You are not your brother and you have different needs. Elros would keep you by his side if he can but you must not allow it. You are different Elrond and your place is not beside your brother. You must follow your own destiny. Do not make the mistake I made and give in to others wants."

"But I am afraid," he answered not wanting to acknowledge what he knew was true.

"But think. Is your fear from the unknown or something else," Maedhros asked as he began to realize the truth.

"I am afraid of what others will think," Elrond said honestly.

"That leads down a path you do not want to follow son," the elder son of Fëanor told him. "It leads to others dictating your actions. Be true to yourself. It is fine to fear what you do not know. You can always learn and overcome that if you seek the answers but once you give others the power to control you, your life is theirs. Remember what I have told you and you will do fine."

"Thank you," Elrond said as they rose and embraced.

"I love you my child, despite what others will tell you," Maedhros said as they headed for the door. "Trust the Maia, they are not as bad as some would have you believe. They are also your family."

Elrond thought about what he had been told as he made his way to the stables. Maedhros's last sentence kept playing itself over and over in his head until Elrond realized that he had been right, the Maia were his family. But his own foresight also told him that the Maia would cause him much pain. He took a last look over his shoulders as he rode away knowing he would never be back. Everything was about to change and not necessarily for the better.

The trip to the coast was thankfully uneventful. They had hidden several time rather than fight but it had been the right choice to make with the group they were guiding. They had been careful to display no banners to proclaim their associations and had been seen as just another group of stragglers until they neared the encamped armies. Since he carried the missive from Maedhros, Elrond was elected to approach the guards of the encampment while the others set up a temporary camp at the edge of the forces, instead of following the other stragglers into the camp. His brother did not like the situation but was given no choice in the matter when Elrond ordered him to stand down. It was one time when Elros could not go against him as the Fëanorians had always made a point to acknowledge Elrond's rights as the elder twin.

The next morning, while the others waited in camp, Elrond approached the first guard he saw and asked to be taken to whoever was in charge. He would only explain that he had a missive he needed to deliver to the King by hand. After much discussion, he was led towards the center of the camp. His blood burned more and more the further in they went and he tried to not let it show. In the end he kept his feet only by concentrating on nothing but putting one foot in front of the other. Elrond sank to the ground to rest and fight the pain when they stopped outside of a large tent surrounded by flags.

Elrond had retreated so far into himself while fighting the pain that he was unaware of anything else until he was pulled to his feet and dragged into the tent. He was shoved roughly to his knees at the end of the table and held there by a firm hand on his neck. The burning of his blood increased as a tall, beautiful being dressed in white and blue stood and approached him. With each step this being took closer to him, the pain increased until only the hand on his neck was holding him up. Suddenly his head was jerked up until he was looking into bright blue eyes that were so ancient they were windows into another world.

As the being looked deeply into his eyes Elrond felt as if his mind was being peeled open and every thought laid bare for all to see. Memories played through his mind that he had long since forgotten due to his age at the time. Finally, he felt a gentle caress across his mind as the being he now knew to be Maian withdrew. Then he watched as the Maia laid his hands on Elrond's chest and forehead. A bright golden light enveloped his senses and the pain within him decreased. The Maia, whom he now recognized within to be Eonwe, nodded to the one holding him to release him and help him stand.

'Welcome little one,' he heard echo through his mind as Eonwe took the missive from his hands and sat down to read it.

After reading the message from Maedhros, Eonwe passed it to a young dark haired elf standing to his left. After he read the message, this elf then passed it to one who Elrond knew to be Cirdan the shipwright from the descriptions Maglor had given him while growing up. Cirdan came forward and pulled him into a hug after passing the message onto a tall silver haired elf across from him.

"Where is your twin?" Cirdan asked after releasing Elrond who was dazed by all that had happened in a few short minutes.

"He waits back at the camp with the others," Elrond said as he studied both Eonwe and the Maia who had been holding him.

Cirdan nodded his head then looked to the dark haired ellon beside Eonwe.

"What are you going to do Gil?" Cirdan asked the one he had identified for Elrond as the King.

"I will not make war or take revenge on ellith or elflings," the King said in anger at this being questioned. "Bring them into camp with the other refugees. Bring Eärendil's sons and place them in a tent near mine."

"No," Eonwe said to stop the king. "The twins are to go with the Second -born forces and fight with them. That is where they are to be placed for now."

There was general unhappiness among the elves at this announcement but none would go against the Herald's orders. Elrond just nodded his assent and was escorted out. As he returned to the camp to inform everyone of what had been decided, he was surprised to have a Maia, who supplied his name as Fionwë, walk beside him back to the camp. He suspected that both he and his brother were being studied as they were taken to the Second-born camp. Elrond was just thankful to have the burning in his blood stopped when the others were near.

'There will be more changes and I will not like them,' Elrond thought to himself as he settled into the tent provided for them. He had seen the bittersweet look in Fionwë's eyes as he had said his goodbye, and had sensed the sorrow for him through some connection. Elrond realized that yes he had found another family but that it was this family, and the duties required as one of them, that would cause him that most pain of all. It would be many years before he realized exactly how true those thoughts were.

*****

THE END

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